Men and Women and the BabyBjorn

This is really just an observation that my wife and I made a few weeks ago, but every time I put baby in the BabyBjorn I'm reminded of it.

When putting baby in, you clip one side then put baby's foot through that side before clipping the other side.  When I do it, I start with the side on my right.  When my wife does it, she starts with the side on her left.  Every time we use it the same thing happens: she starts with the left and I start with the right.  This has to be because of the difference between men's and women's garments; men's clothes button from the right and women's from the left.

This explanation I knew for this is from the Victorian era, when affluent women generally wouldn't dress themselves.  Servants would dress and button up the women, so the buttons were designed for right-handed people facing the garment.  Well-to-do men would have their clothes laid out for them by their servants, but they would actually dress themselves.

I found another explanation, that men would button their armor from the right to prevent right handed opponents from getting through the armor from that side.  Women's clothing buttons from the left so that while nursing a child they have easier access to the right side, then believed to be closer to the heart.  CLOSER TO THE HEART, YEAH bum bum bum, beeeeeeew, beeeeew beeew, buh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh bunluhla bunluhla bunluhla bunluhla buuuuuuh...

I'm not afraid to say I like Rush, although not as much as I used to, so the nonsense above are the lyrics to the guitar solo from Rush's "Closer to the Heart."

Bumbo recall and new safety strap

As you may know, the Bumbo baby seat was recently recalled.  The safety strap can be ordered (in the United States) by calling 866-898-4999 or visiting www.recall.BumboUSA.com.  There's a Bumbo site for Canada (http://bumbocanada.com), and outside the U.S. or Canada requires e-mailing this address: info@bumbo.co.za.  Instructions for those outside the U.S. can be found at the above website's FAQ page.

The Bumbo seat is meant to help children who are "supported sitters" do so without human hands doing the supporting.  It comes with a litany of safety instructions printed on the seat as well as in the instructions that tell you not to leave your child unattended, to only use the seat on the ground, not to use it as a highchair or booster seat, not to use it as a car seat, and so on.



While these safety instructions seem like common sense, some parents somewhere found out the hard way that their children could push themselves out of the Bumbo and hurt themselves as they fall out of it.  Accidents do happen, and I'm not trying to rub salt in the wounds of the parents whose children were hurt, but whenever we but baby in the Bumbo we were careful to stay within an arm's length of him.  One of the instructions on the product says to use it for a short periods of time at first and observe how your child reacts to it.  When we put baby in the seat for the first time he enjoyed it for a few minutes, then started straining to push himself up and out of it.  We immediately took him out of the seat and chalked it up to that initial period of adjustment to sitting upright on his own without room to wiggle and squirm.  It seemed like two things could have happened if we left him there: he would jump out of it and hurt himself, or he would try to jump out and flip over and hurt himself.  Either way, we knew that he would require supervision when using the seat.

One of the best pieces of advice we got from all the baby classes we took before he was born was to always fill out warranty registration cards for any baby products.  Baby products are recalled so often, and it's easy to lose track of which model of which product line you own when a recall is announced.  It also eliminates your dependence on hearing about a recall from the news or word of mouth; the company will directly contact you via mail or e-mail when a product is recalled.   There may have been a day or two between hearing about the recall and the official e-mail my wife received, but it's good to be part of the official notification system.

We had to request the seat belt upgrade; my wife provided the serial number of our Bumbo probably to prove that we still have it.  She requested it and they shipped it to our house within a week or so.

The Bumbo is made of polyurethane foam, and installing the safety belt was a new experience.  The upgrade kit came with a plastic template that fits in the seat where baby would sit.  There are three holes about 120° apart that you use to mark the points where the seat belt will be attached.  The seat belt has three anchor points with little conical arrows sticking out of it that simply push through the polyurethane.  Once the arrows are through there are little anchors that attach on the other side and the belt is installed.

Installing the seat wasn't difficult, but getting baby into the seat by myself proved to be very hard.  The straps sit in the bottom of the seat when they're not in use, and I didn't want to let out the straps all the way just to have to tighten them immediately afterwards.  It can get tiresome to be constantly fighting with all the different straps and restraints that a baby needs, and I think one of the marks of a good product is how easy it is for parents (but not for baby) to loosen the straps and tighten them again.  I could have loosened the straps all the way, or if someone else could have held them out of the way as I put him in things would have been easier.  It wasn't that difficult to do but I did have to squeeze in to pull the straps out and as baby gets bigger it will become more of an issue.

The Bumbo is an interesting product.  It makes claims about helping a baby develop the strength and balance needed to sit on their own, but I've read articles that say it does the exact opposite.  This article from the Chicago Tribune examines some of the claims and responses from a physical therapist from Children's Memorial Hospital in Chicago.  We'll still use the seat, but we're not tricking ourselves into thinking that it's a miracle trainer that will teach our baby to sit upright.  Today I used it to keep him in one place as I emptied the dishwasher and cleaned the kitchen; that seems to be its best use.

First day of applesauce

Today we introduced baby to applesauce!  He's been eating formula mixed with rice cereal for a few weeks now, and the doctor told us we should introduce bananas or apples next.

He's done very well with the rice cereal so far.  A few people told us we could mix the rice cereal with formula in his bottle and that it would help him sleep through the night.  My wife read that the rice cereal doesn't always lead to better sleep, and some paperwork from the doctor said that we should never mix the rice cereal in the bottle.  The paperwork told us that part of the reason to feed him rice cereal is to give him practice being fed with a spoon rather than eating from a bottle.

He enjoys eating the rice cereal and is getting the hang of eating from a spoon.  Up until this point all he has "eaten" is liquid through a nipple; I put eaten in quotes because he is technically drinking after all.  When we first introduced the rice cereal we mixed very little in with the formula.  Each day we mix a little more rice cereal to get him ready to eat solids gradually.

Today my wife went to Whole Foods and bought some organic apples to make applesauce.  We were given this Beaba babycook machine that blends and steams fruits and vegetables in one cool little device.  I haven't used it yet but my wife mixed the apples earlier this afternoon so they'd be ready for his evening feeding.



When it came time to actually feed him my wife prepared the rice cereal and formula as usual, but also had a bowl with applesauce in it.  His first few spoonfuls were rice cereal, then she began mixing it with the applesauce.  It was really cute to watch, and funny to see the facial expressions he made as he ate the applesauce.  My wife tasted it and said it came out a bit tart because there's no added sugar, but I also tasted it and didn't find it to be tart.  Mostly I found it to be bland.  It could also be because I'm used to the taste of apples and baby isn't; it's really the first thing he's ever eaten with real flavor.  I guess the milk and formula have flavor, and the rice cereal probably does too, but not much flavor.  He pursed his lips and made funny faces and I was worried that he wouldn't like it, and I might be right.  But there are a lot of foods you don't like as a kid, and it's a new experience for him.  He did a little crying, but sometimes he's too hungry and/or impatient to be fed with the spoon and we switch to the bottle to get some food into him so he's in better humor.  We gave him some spoonfuls mixed with rice cereal and a few of pure applesauce.  He didn't like the pure applesauce too much, but we got as much in him as we could.  We'll see if he likes it better tomorrow.

For the next three to four days we'll be giving him apples, then we'll probably introduce bananas after that.  This is something else we learned from the doctor; this way if he's allergic to the food we give him we'll know right away what he's allergic to.  If we fed him several different things and he has an allergic reaction we won't really know what caused it, so it's important to introduce foods one at a time.

In one month we'll start feeding him vegetables, but until then it's all fruits.  We'll do bananas next, then avocados.  It's a lot of fun to feed him with the spoon, and I can't wait to see how he reacts to all the new things he's going to get to taste.

Baby's hearing test

In previous posts I have alluded to baby's trip to the NICU when he was four days old, and I promise to write about it sometime, but because he was given antibiotics at such an early age there is a possibility of hearing loss.  We had to schedule an appointment with an audiologist at the local rehab hospital to test his hearing.  They told us the test would take up to three hours, so we were not looking forward to it.

The first appointment was during our trip to the Jersey Shore, so we had to reschedule, but rescheduling became a problem too.  They told us not to feed him before the test, and that he couldn't sleep in the car on the way there.  We were nervous about keeping him awake, because when he needs to sleep there isn't much we can do if he's stuck in the car seat.  But his sleeping during the test is so important that for a child 6 months or older they will sedate them to conduct the test.  My wife and I talked about this and thought that we'd rather skip the test altogether than dope up our baby, but we got an appointment yesterday (he's now 5 months old) so we didn't have to make that decision.

When we arrived at the hospital he had been fussing for around 30 minutes or so already, and it was painful to withhold the bottle from him when we knew that he was hungry.  I know I was feeling a bit testy, and as we were walking across the parking lot I said to my wife that most parents bringing their children to these appointments are probably in a foul mood themselves.  It absolutely affects your mood when you're forced by someone else to make your child unhappy, especially when you know what would make them feel better but can't give it to them.  Baby wasn't so hungry that he couldn't be distracted by all the new things to look at in the hospital, and everyone there wanted to say hi and talk to the baby a bit.

When we had completed the check-in we went to the audiology area of the hospital and waited for a few minutes before being taken to a soundproof room where he would be tested.  It was a pretty cool little room, with the little dot holes in the walls and some big speakers built into the corners and some medical machines.  There was a little window on one side into a similar room where people could observe our room and I wondered what kinds of things go on there and if they sequester little kids and blast music or sounds at them and if it's sometimes scary.

At this point the doctor told us we could begin feeding him, and he started to fall asleep on the bottle soon afterwards.  While he was eating the doctor rubbed this blue gel on his head and attached electrodes in four places: one behind each ear, one by his temple, and one on his forehead near where the soft spot is.  I was a little worried about this for two reasons.  The first is because of the electrode's proximity to the soft spot where his skull hasn't fused completely yet, but they test babies often so it must not be an issue.  At least that's what I told myself as it was happening, but I also thought about things like power surges and the effects of electroshock therapy on the human brain... all things I tried to dismiss as the test started.

The doctor told us that the test they do in the hospital only tests one tone at one frequency, but that this test did a range of tones and frequencies.  Sometimes antibiotics can harm a child's hearing so they do not hear high frequency sounds, so it was necessary to do this more extensive test.

Once baby was asleep the doctor left to give us 10 minutes to ensure he's in a deep sleep, then came back and started hooking up the machines.  Each electrode has two ends, one that attaches to baby's skin and another that a little snap attaches to.  The snap end comes up a little so you don't have to press down on the child's scalp to snap them on.  Once they were attached she put something that was like a narrow ear bud in his ear and ran some kind of test.  Then she switched to another ear bud and ran another test over and over again.  Each time it produced some type of graph, and the doctor would click on one of the peaks.  Then she would do it again, click on one of the peaks in about the same place, then overlay the new graph over the old one.  She did this several times before it was time to test the other ear.

By this point a half hour or so had passed, and we were nervous that we would wake him up in the course of switching him to the other side.  I proposed that my wife hand him to me and I could hold him, and his right ear would then be facing up so she could test it.  He wasn't even out of his mother's arms when this woke him up, and he stretched and cried out a little.

I thought we were finished at this point.  We have so little success getting him to go back to sleep when he wakes up from his nap, and his eyes were wide open.  Usually we can tell by how he opens his eyes if he's getting up or if he'll go back to sleep, and I thought for sure that the test was over and we'd have to reschedule.  Or that we'd have to wait three hours and come back when he was ready to sleep again. But we gave it a try, and the doctor turned off the lights so we could try and rock him to sleep.

Amazingly he did go to sleep once the lights were completely out, and we were able to complete the tests!  She did the same things again to the right ear, then used some kind of machine that blew a puff of air into his ear.  She told us this might wake him up but that the test was almost over, and I felt so relieved that we were successful.  I didn't know what the results were yet, but just getting through the test seemed like an accomplishment.

The doctor told us his hearing was very good; the antibiotics didn't seem to effect his hearing.  She told us we could have given up if he hadn't gone to sleep again and tested him when he was older, but it was good to get it all finished right away.

Looking ahead to Halloween

Halloween is one of my favorite holidays, and I have no shortage of stories from Halloweens gone by.  It's never too early to begin planning a costume, especially now that we have a child!  He'll be 7 months old in October, and my wife and I are starting to look for ideas.  Originally she was looking at costumes available for purchase on zulily.com, which is a website that buys items in bulk at a low price once enough people place orders with them.  So you might order something today and not get it for a month because zulily waits until they can get the bulk rate that makes it worthwhile.

I don't want to use a store bought costume, but then it occurred to me.  I like to have two costumes for myself each Halloween - one for work and one for parties - so why not have two costumes for our baby?  That way I can come up with whatever crazy costume I want to and not ruin the holiday for everyone because we'll have a backup!

So I think we should make use of baby's baldness, since it may be a long time before he can pull it off without shaving his head or wearing a bald cap.  Here are some of my ideas:

Captain Picard (I would be Commander Riker)

Lex Luthor

Telly Savalas (I had to tell my wife who he was)

Colonel Klink (We'll need a monocle)

We'll see what I can come up with.  I'll probably have to make his costume myself; we don't know what size he'll be in two months and I don't know if they sell Luftwaffe uniforms in baby sizes.

Checking pupils at midnight

So last night our son woke up three times, once before we went to bed, once at around 2:00 am, and once around 5:00 am.  Lately he's only been getting up twice in the night, and before we took him traveling he was only getting up once.  Straying from the norm the night after falling on his head made me worry for a moment, but only for a moment.  Waking up one more time in the night wasn't listed as one of the indicators of a serious head injury.  I checked his pupils before he went to bed, in the feeding before we went to bed, and again at the 5am feeding and they were equal each time.  Comparing a baby's pupils in the middle of the night isn't an exact science, but I held him with the brighter of his two nightlights between us and looked from one to the other as quickly as I could.  He squinted for a bit and as soon as I could get a good look I turned it off.  During the day he was his usual self, so I think we're in the clear.

Stroller tip-over scare

So today was one of the scariest days since taking our son to the NICU on the fourth day of his life, a story I'll have to tell another time.  We went to the Blue Hills today to have a cookout in their picnic area.  We had some steak and hot dogs and potato salad and blood orange soda and had our Baby Jogger City Mini GT stroller with us, mostly to transport the charcoal and cooler and everything else we brought with us.  It's been a good stroller with lots of options, attachments, and off-road capability, but today we learned something about its balance.



When we finished grilling and it was time to eat we put him into his stroller with the back in the reclined or horizontal position, and he happily kicked his legs and looked out the mesh backing.  I even took a picture because he looked so cute, as if he was trying to see the kids playing at what looked like a birthday party on the other side of the field.  My wife thought the stroller seemed a little unbalanced, but I didn't think it would flip.  She suggested that we lock the wheels of the stroller to prevent its tipping, and against my better judgement I locked it.

We've had discussions about the stroller tipping when it comes to our cats jumping on it in the middle of the night.  There have been some mornings when we've found the stroller tipped backwards and knew it was from one of our cats jumping on it in the middle of the night.  We know this because sometimes the crash wakes us up.  I'm something of an armchair physicist, and I explained that the cart is more likely to flip when it's locked than unlocked.  When force is applied that would cause it to flip backwards and the lock is off, some of that force translates into the backwards movement of the whole stroller.  When the lock is on, it can only turn into rotational energy.  The stroller rotates around the wheel, the rotational energy combines with the gravitational energy and it flips backwards.

I was careful not to be accusative at all when the cart tipped, and am reluctant to mention this even now.  The whole rest of the afternoon I was careful not to mention any of this for fear of assigning responsibility for the accident to my wife.  I know I was the one that locked it, but we've discussed the physics of locking the stroller before.  I knew better, but I was also worried about it rolling over a rock or root or something that would otherwise affect it.  I didn't think the stroller tipping over was even an issue, so I went ahead and locked it.  The whole trip to the doctor I was thinking to myself, "I never should have locked the stroller," but never said it because I didn't want my wife to think I was blaming her at this emotional moment.  God forbid anything serious resulting from the accident, I didn't want to start any petty blame game between us.

So for some reason I ignored physics and locked the stroller.  I thought about putting the handle over the picnic table, so if it did tip backward it would only fall two inches before hitting the table.  But doing this would point the stroller away from the table and not allow us a view of our baby.  So I locked it and sat down to eat.

It felt like less than a second later, less than a nanosecond, and the stroller was on its back and he was screaming.  My wife flipped the cart up and picked him up, and the next few minutes were a blur.  From where the mark was he landed on the back left of his head, on the crown of his head by where his hair swirls.  He cried for a bit, and we hugged and kissed him and didn't know what to do.  This is really the first time we're on the spot to make an immediate decision that might have repercussions that affect the health of our child.  Do we call 911 and get an ambulance?  Do we take him to the doctor?  Are we overreacting because this is his first fall?

Right when I made the call to the doctor he began to calm down.  I explained that he fell a foot and a half, maybe two feel onto packed dirt when his stroller fell over.  While I was explaining this to the nurse, my wife started feeding him a bottle.  The nurse told us to come in, but if he exhibits any symptoms like vomiting or unresponsiveness we should call 911.  At this time I was feeling pretty good about his prospects; he wasn't crying anymore and seemed to be doing well.  When baby finished the bottle he went to sleep almost immediately, which started the worry again.

As we were going to the car I wished I knew the difference between sleeping and unresponsive.  When we're at home trying to get him to nap, he cries and whimpers and doesn't want to go.  When we're in the park shortly after a head injury TRYING to wake him up he sleeps like a log.  So we drive through the Blue Hills, an area with bad cell reception, waiting on hold to talk to a nurse for the second time to find out if we should go to the hospital.  I'm sure you know what happened, we lost the signal.  We called back and waited on hold again until we were at the doctor's office.

In the doctor's office they ushered us into a room immediately, and just as quickly he was awake and squirming and playing as always.  The nurse came in and took our information, and I think at this point we were dropped to the bottom of the triage list because it was about 45 minutes until we saw the doctor.  The nurse brought us a printout that explains head injuries such as fractures, concussions, and simple abrasions.  The printout put my mind further at ease, and when baby started trying to eat the paper on the bench in the office I started to feel silly for all the panicked thoughts I had all the way to the doctor's.  But I'm glad we went to the doctor (and glad we didn't need to go to the hospital instead).

Tonight he went to bed at his usual time, around 7:00pm, and I've only gone in once to check on him (without waking him).  During the night the doctor told us we will have to check on him twice, which is how many times he gets up anyway.  Usually we keep the lights as low as possible to send baby the message that it's nighttime and time to sleep, but tonight we're going to have to compare the size of his pupils to be sure that he isn't concussed.  For an older child signs such as confusion or trouble walking are more telling and can be observed before unequal pupils, but these are hard to see in a 5-month-old.  So for tonight we'll be shining a bright light when he wakes up, and may even wake him up on purpose to check before we go to bed.

It was a scary day; we'll see what the night brings.

The trick to get him to sleep

Today I figured out the trick to get him to sleep.  The pediatrician recommended the book below, "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child," by Dr. Marc Weissbluth.  My wife read it but I have yet to; so far all that we're trying to implement is a consistent nap and bedtime schedule.



For the first month or two of baby's life, I was almost completely unable to get him to go to sleep.  I would have to use the Moby wrap or take him for a walk in his bassinet to get him to sleep for me, and then I have very little freedom to get anything done myself.  I was jealous of my wife, because she could hold him and pat him on the bottom and rock him to sleep without a problem.  It took up to an hour or more to do, but if he goes to sleep for her why shouldn't he for me?

What bothered me the most was his crying, as usual.  His mother definitely has a higher tolerance for his cries than I do.  It was so sad and frustrating to be holding him and trying to comfort him while he screams and cries to the point where he gags himself.  Then one day I decided I just had to buck up and fight through it, and eventually he started to sleep for me.

We'll hold him horizontally in the regular cradle position with his head to the left.  With the right hand we gently tap his diapered bottom and say "SSSSHHHH" (henceforth to be known as "shushes") over and over again while bouncing him up and down in our arms.  The shushes and the bouncing have the same rhythm.

The trick that I've observed isn't something that I've read or heard from anyone, but something I've noticed myself doing that I am just now aware of.  First, the taps on the bottom are at about twice the rate of the shushes.  Next, while he's crying and I'm shushing, his breathing will eventually match the pace of my shushes.  Doing the rapid-fire shushes forces me to inhale quickly then exhale quickly, and he'll cry while I'm shushing then inhale when I do.  Once I notice that his breathing matches mine, I start to draw out the shushes and slow down my breathing until it's at a pace more conducive to falling asleep.  He slows his breathing along with me and falls asleep pretty shortly afterwards.

I becomes hard to put him down without waking him, but I slow the patting of his bum along with the shushes and put him down very slowly and gently.  Sometimes he'll stir a little once he's down, and I'll hold his legs in place and pat his bum until he settles again.

The trick really is slowing down his breathing when he's worked up (crying or wailing) and getting him down without jostling him to the point where he wakes up.  First you need to develop the patience and strength of will to listen to the screaming up close, then use this breathing technique and your baby will be asleep in no time.  Of course, this might not work at all for your baby, in which case you're on your own.

Flipping from his stomach to his back

In the last week or two our baby has begun flipping from his back to his stomach.  At first it was troublesome, because he would do it in the middle of the night and scream and scream until we came in and flipped him back.  Sometimes we'd find him with an arm or a leg stuck through the sides of the crib, but they say that bumpers are dangerous until your child can turn themselves from their stomach to back.  Today for the first time (that we've observed) he flipped from his stomach to his back!  The problem is, in the process of turning himself over and over he's getting out of his funky farm playmate (pictured below).  When he's in the mood for it the mat is great entertainment for him and allows us to take care of chores around the apartment within earshot, but now that he's rolling out of it we can't use it as a makeshift babysitter anymore.


It was very exciting to see him get himself onto his back for the first time, but it marks a new era in the mobility of our child.  He still needs more tummy time to work on the strength of his arms, but the next step is probably crawling.  He is able to move himself forward a little on his stomach, pushing his face into the ground in the process, but isn't at the point where he can cover any real distance.  But he gets so excited and smiles so much when he does it, I'm sure because we get so excited, that I don't think I have much time left before I really have to baby-proof this apartment.  Until this point the only thing I've done is put safety latches on the cabinets under the sink, and that's to prevent our cats from getting into the trash more than anything.  I haven't even put all the faceplates on all the electrical sockets from when we first moved in and painted about a year and a half ago.

Taking baby to the beach

We're vacationing on Cape Cod now, and have taken our baby to the beach several times now.  We did it at the Jersey Shore a few weeks ago, and by now I think we have the routine down.  Our baby is about 4 3/4 months old now.



Babies can't use sunblock until they're 6 months old, so it's important to keep them out of the sun until then.  In fact, I'm not sure I want to even use sunscreen on our child until later - I'm a fan of using as few chemicals as possible.  Rubbing them all over his skin when he's still so tiny is a bit scary to me.  We have a sun hat for him, but this doesn't cover his arms and legs.  Sometimes we take him in the Baby Bjorn like this, and it's too hot for him to wear long sleeves, so he gets sun on his arms and legs.  I think it's okay to do this; people have been living outdoors since long before blogs and sunscreen and written history so I don't think it's the end of the world.  Of course, there weren't big holes in the ozone layer then, but that's a topic for another post (or blog).  Above is the original Baby Bjorn, but ours is black.  It's a lifesaver, especially when you need two hands to cook or do something.  That's not us in the picture there, that's an ad.

I have an old camping blanket that can be staked to the ground, which works well as the first layer between baby and the sand.  The blanket is around 8 ft by 6 ft, so when we place him in the middle he's a good distance from the sand.  Then we have this 9ft Sportbrella XL that I got at BJ's wholesale club.  It covers the blanket with room to spare, and unfolds very easily.  It opens like an umbrella and stakes into the sand pretty well.  I try to set it up so the wind hits the outside of it, but that's hard when the sun is coming from a different direction.  Yesterday I pointed it south west, since the wind was from the south and we were planning on staying into the afternoon.  In New Jersey we had some problems with it getting blown out of the sand, but there are pockets on the inside that you can fill with things to weigh it down.



We also have a folding bathtub that's made of vinyl or some plastic material.  Using a regular beach pail I filled it with water and let the sun warm it for an hour or two so it would be a better temperature for baby.  Once it's warm enough I pull it under the umbrella so he has shade while he swims.  We hold him under his arms and lower him into the water, and he kicks like crazy!  It's pretty fun to watch, and he seems to enjoy it quite a bit.  Often times he kicks himself out of his swimsuit so a lot of times we don't bother with a bathing suit at all.  We've filled the tub with fresh water from the hose as well, but never chlorinated water.  Chlorine is only a little bad for adults, but for babies it's very very bad.  It can lead to respiratory problems or worse.  We're going to avoid putting him in a chlorine pool as long as we can.

I think he really likes the white noise of the waves, and I'd bet the rhythm of the ocean reminds him of being in the womb.  He's taken naps on the beach, under supervision, and is content just to lay on the blanket and kick.  In the future we can look forward to sand castles and chicken fights, but just laying there is fun too!

Listening to baby's cries

This week our baby learned to turn from his back to his stomach when lying down.  We were concerned that we weren't giving him enough "tummy time," but now he's giving it to himself.  Most of our current problems stem from the fact that he can't flip himself back.  The bad thing is, he keeps doing it in the crib and at times when he should be sleeping.  Two nights ago I was up for more than an hour, constantly flipping him onto his back after he turned himself around.

He enjoys it on his stomach at first, but when he starts getting tired it's very alarming for him to be in that position.  He lets out some intense screams, but the sympathy we have for it is running low.  We don't want to discourage his development of this new skill, flipping over, but does he have to do it in the middle of the flipping' night?  This morning, for the first time, we're trying something that resembles the Ferber method.  I say resembles because I haven't actually done any formal research on the Ferber method and we're just making it up ourselves.

I think my wife's read about it, and I've certainly heard people describing it, but I don't know exactly what the Ferber method is.  I know if involves allowing a child to scream and cry and timing how long you wait until you comfort the child.  Each time you wait longer and longer to comfort the child; first you wait 5 minutes before rocking the baby to sleep.  Once they've calmed down, you tell the baby you love them and that it's time for bed and put them down.  If the baby starts crying again, you wait 10 minutes before going back.  You keep extending the amount of time between check-ins and eventually the babies should learn to soothe themselves back to sleep.

The Ferber method doesn't address how miserable it is to listen to the anguished cries of a baby over the monitor for ever increasing increments of time.  For one thing, it's the middle of the night and we want to sleep ourselves.  For another, it's painful to hear a baby crying and allow it to continue ON PURPOSE.  Last night he slept for about 3 hour blocks, but when it started to be around 5am and the sunlight began to penetrate the baby's room around the edges of the curtains he wanted to practice turning over rather than sleeping.  We gave him 5 minute increments and didn't make them longer each time.

The first 5 minute stretch I stood watching the clock while my wife lay in bed, also watching the clock. There was no sleeping to be had.  After 5 we rushed in, found him on his stomach, and I picked him up to cradle, rock, and comfort him.  We told him we loved him, that it was time to sleep, and put him down in the crib.  I make the ASL (American Sign Language) signs for "I love you," "please," and "bed," and we left the room again.  Before we were in our bedroom again he was screaming again having turned himself immediately onto his stomach.  This was the toughest 5 minutes; it seemed like his screams were even more intense than last time.  My wife held him this time, and we both comforted him again.  He was making more little sounds that usually mean he's going to sleep, but without one of us holding him he went right back to screaming.  The last 5 minute stretch was the last, after that we went to sleep.  He made a little noise in the first couple of minutes, but after that he was out again.  I was nervous at first that he had flipped over and was being smothered by the weight of his own head, but that's a fear that's always lingering in the back of your head, at least for the first 4 1/2 months.

We're breaking the 7am wake up time we had set for him a week ago, but I know my wife is very tired today and could use a little extra sleep.  I'm sure baby won't allow her to sleep much longer anyway, but every little bit counts.  I will eventually find out exactly what the Ferber method entails, but if this works we might stick with it.  It was painful enough to listen to 5 minutes of screaming, I don't want to have to do 10 minutes at a time.

Flying and jet lag with a baby

I was thinking about our experiences traveling with our 4 1/2 month old child and realized that someone might have the same questions we did and could benefit from what we've learned.  We went to Switzerland for about 12 days, and spent most of the time with family.  Here I'm focused on the airport and flying aspects of the trip, they're complicated enough.

They say it's good to take a child on an airplane early, so they aren't as afraid to fly later in life.  I'm a little nervous to fly, usually only on the first flight, but I would like our son to feel more comfortable with it.

The process started more than two months ago, when we booked the flights.  A baby flies very inexpensively (without a seat) on Swiss, but you still have to pay the airport taxes and fees.  Swiss charged something like $60, but airport taxes and fees come out to something like $700.  I think the only reason Swiss charged us was because we reserved a bassinet that mounts to the wall, which also guarantees us the seats in the front row that have extra leg room.  He gets one checked bag that we used for mostly our stuff, so that was a plus.  

Exactly six weeks before the trip we went to the post office to get him a passport.  I know it was exactly six weeks because we chose not to expedite the passport and hope that it would come on time.  They give you the option to change the shipping method along the way if it's not going fast enough too; you can track its progress online, and if it's not going to get to you it can be overnighted for some fee.  His passport came at about 3 1/2 to 4 weeks so we didn't need to.  We both had to be there with him at the post office and I'm sure we both had to show our IDs, and we needed a copy of his birth certificate that would be sent in with the form to get his passport.  If you need the birth certificate for anything else before the passport comes make sure you have an extra copy!  The woman at the post office had a white blanket that she put behind him in the car seat for his picture.  It was lucky she could find the blanket, it would be a good thing to bring on your own in case they don't have it there.  And their blanket was filthy.  She took his picture about eight times, because she would say cutesy things to get him to look then stop to look in the camera and he would look away.  She got a picture consistent with the quality of most grown ups' ID pictures (his tongue was out a little), and the process was underway.  

Flying over was perfect.  We thought, if only he could take a nap up until boarding, and wake up hungry just as the plane is beginning to ascend.  To help him deal with the change in pressure as the plane ascends the pediatrician told us we should be feeding him during takeoff.  It went exactly as planned, although we did allow him to squirm and complain a bit as the plane was taxiing.  I was worried that he would finish the bottle and not want to eat anymore and hurt himself during takeoff.  I don't know if it is possible for it to get to the point where he starts rupturing things in his ear drum or sinuses, but I didn't want it to get anywhere close.  I could have given into my wife's pleading and let her feed him when we started taxiing but I wanted to wait until they rev up the engines to take off to start feeding him.  He drank the bottle while we yawned away and he never felt any discomfort.

We had the bassinet attachment, which went right on the wall between business class and economy where we sat.  I thought it was funny that the people one row in front paid and extra thousand dollars to sit so close to where there could be a screaming baby, but I think they give them noise canceling headphones so they're fine.  Well taken care of, in fact.  You can't use the bassinet when the seat belt sign is on, and we didn't want to either.  There was only one time it came on during the flight over, and no one came to make us take him out, but we thought it best to follow the rule.  He was sleeping peacefully and we didn't want to possibly wake him up, but we didn't want to tempt fate by leaving him in the bassinet.  Fortunately, he slept right up until landing.  

Landing was more difficult, because he wasn't hungry really.  He associates the pacifier with being put down for a nap, and didn't want to take a nap, so was very opposed to taking it.  He would fuss and start to cry and take it for a moment, then spit it right out.  Then I'm sure the pressure would build until he began to fuss again, and finally he would take the pacifier again.  Overall it wasn't bad, you just have to pay complete attention to the child and expect them to squirm all over the place and make a little noise.  Compared to the older kids on the plane he was no problem at all.  It was the 1-year-olds that did most of the screaming on the plane.  

Jet lag wasn't an issue going over, but it really became a problem when we returned home.  I always find it easier to travel to Europe, while my father-in-law (who lives there) says he finds it easier to come to the United States.  I always thought it was easier to travel to Europe because the flight is about 6 hours and the time difference is also 6 hours.  The Boston to Zurich flight leaves at 9:40pm, you sleep a little on the plane, and when you wake up it is mid morning in Zurich, around 10am.  It's somewhat disruptive but if you can get as much sleep as you can on the plane you can adjust quickly.  At least I usually do.  When you travel west, it's almost like lost time.  The flight from Zurich to Boston leaves at 5:40pm or so, and you arrive back in Boston at 7pm after 8 hours in the air.  You might get a nap in on the plane but it's almost time to go to sleep again when you arrive in the US.  The other factor is there's an excitement when you go someplace different; you have something to look forward to when you arrive.  Coming home means going back to work, cleaning the apartment, paying bills, and returning to the daily grind.  The motivation to return to normal isn't as exciting as seeing new sights.  I don't think these necessarily factor into a baby's internal timing, but something has made it much more difficult to come back.  He's been waking up really early in the morning, as we all were during the vacation, but we've been trying to keep him up at night and taking him out in the sun as much as we can to reinforce the local time.  I've wanted nothing more than to go to bed early myself but we've forced ourselves to take afternoon and evening walks with him.  It's not something they recommend, but we've been sleeping with him in the bed too, because he'll often sleep more if we're there with him.  It's supposed to be very dangerous because of the obvious risks of falling out or rolling over him, but I honestly feel that there's an awareness that we have when he's in the bed that doesn't allow us to completely fall asleep out of fear.  People with extreme jobs and very tiring shifts may not experience this when they come off a 24-hour shift, but I don't sleep 100% when I know he's there.  And people have been co-sleeping with their children for longer than recorded human history, so it can be made to work.  I'm getting worried that he'll get used to it and we'll have a child that won't sleep without going to his parents' bed, but he's still young enough that we can still avoid this.  

Taking our baby to Europe was amazing, and I hope that by taking him on the airplane so young he'll be an easy traveler throughout his life.  We'll see how things go next year or next flight, whichever comes first.